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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a boring banana? unaPEELING"

"Why can't gingers run? Because they have no soles"

"I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her."

"On earth: A magician puts his hand in his hat. In the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. It is time. The rabit council must choose another sacrifice."

"*pounding on her chest* DON'T DIE ON ME KAREN! *pounds harder* (sobbing) BREATHE DAMMIT! CPR instructor: Ok, so that was wrong."

"The bad news: I shaved off my beard. The good news: none of my co-workers recognize me and have stopped talking to me."

"Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible."

"If Spooning leads to Forking, what does Knifing lead to? Abortions."

"It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented."

"What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e that is the question."