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Joke of the Day

"Never trust someone who tells you mashed cauliflower tastes just like mashed potatoes. They'll lie to you about other things, too."

"What do you call a black guy who can fly a plane? A pilot; what else would you call him? You racist prick!"

"what's 6 inches long 2 inches wide and drives a woman wild? money"

"A teenager goes in for his regular physical Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Teen: No Doctor: Do you smoke or do drugs? Teen: No. I'm also not sexually active. Doctor: Well no shit"

"What's the difference between a 19th century slave and a 21st century unpaid intern? No, seriously, I want to know."

"I had a dog with no legs.. I named him cigarette so I could take him for a drag."

"Taco Bell is serving breakfast now. Because why wait until afternoon when you can get diarrhea first thing in the morning!TM"

"Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall"

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boo-bees"

"I'm going to the hospital tomorrow...not because I'm sick, but because they have free pudding if you're fast enough."