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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black guy who can fly a plane? A pilot; what else would you call him? You racist prick!"

"It really annoys me when people who barely know you want to become Facebook friends, like an old classmate or someone you've slept with"

"I injured my back in Egypt... and had to see a Cairo-practor"

"Looking for Texas? Drive east or west on Interstate 70 until you smell shit. Then go south till you run into it"

"I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there's plenty of blame to go around."

"You know how it goes, I say tomato You say what are you doing in my house?"

"I asked my wife for the newspaper I said to my wife, ""Get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied, ""you can borrow my iPad."" The spider didn't see that coming."

"Abortion... ...it brings out the kid in you."

"What do you call a group of politically similar crows? A cawcus"

"Why did the jew leave the party early? He had gas."