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Joke of the Day

"As a doctor, I once had to remove the spine of a pirate He was all for it and said ""It was holding me back"""

"Did you hear that the North American Man/Boy Love Association go a new tech support guy? He's an e-NAMBLA."

"To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present... They are due back at the library today."

"A lot of people make a big deal about age differences in couples. As far as I'm concerned a girl is fair game as soon as she's finished school. So usually at about 3:15"

"WIFE: please come out of there so we can talk ME: [from cardboard box] i'm sorry come out of where? WIFE: [sigh] please exit the spacecraft"

"Two peanuts walk out of a bar one was assaulted( a salted)......peanut"

"What goes ""Clop clop clop, bang bang bang, clop clop clop""? An Amish drive-by shooting."

"I hate Ancient Greek History! Fuck the poleis!"

"What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own."

"What's the difference between a spot and a girl on her period? When you squeeze a spot, you get bloody pus. When you squeeze a girl on her period..."