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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Mexican smoking weed? A baked bean"

"my marrige is just like my time in prison nothing but fucking and fighting, Im just kidding I never fought in prison."

"An apple a day keeps the doctors away! With that logic a bullet a day should keep the retards away!"

"HR: Did you call Brenda fat? Me: No. I told her that based on her size, she should be more jolly. HR... Me: Big difference."

"Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope"

"Why is it called Windows 10? Because 7 8 9."

"What do you call two hobos hitting each other with cardboard? Pillow fight"

"1st week of school: sandwich cut in a cute shape, sliced fruit, encouraging note. Last week of school: handful of croutons wrapped in foil."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *SLURP*"

"What percentage of the zombies are just chasing you down to tell you they're vegan?"