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Joke of the Day

"""FINISH HIM,"" I scream, as Nana takes the last bite of her gingerbread man."

"What's the hardest thing about eating vegetables? The wheelchairs!"

"This ebola scare is getting out of hand I just threw ebola at someone who said good morning to me before I had my coffee"

"Some days I think my mental health is coming along nicely, other days I'm vaguely jealous of turtles."

"What's a Korean's favourite take on a traditional British meal? German Shepherd pie."

"What did scrooge mcduck use to educate huey , dewey and louie? Duck tapes"

"Ticket Clerk: Enjoy the film! Me: U too! TC: Really? You'll take me with u? Me: I didn't mean.. TC: Oh, I see Me: I'm sor TC: [sobs] JUST GO"

"Went to the Indian bakery today and asked for some bread They said they had naan"

"How many Trumps? How many trumps could donald trump trump if donald trump could trump trumps?"

"Fastfood Clerk: Number 27! Double steak combo with extra fries! Man: Right here! Clerk: Here you go sir, sorry about your weight. Man: Oh, it wasn't long at al- wait... Clerk: >:D"