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Joke of the Day
"""FINISH HIM,"" I scream, as Nana takes the last bite of her gingerbread man."
Next Joke
"Shoulder blades sound way more awesome than they are."
"Hillary Lewinsky's campaign has received an endorsement by... Weird Al Sharpton."
"Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a Porsche? A. With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."
"You heard the rumour going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn't spread it."
"If I had a Dollar, If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked for change, I would still pretend to have not heard them."
"Glassware has emotions. Proof: I sometimes reach to the back of the cabinet because I feel bad for the glasses that I never use."
"I can already hear the birds judging me for sleeping till noon tomorrow."
"Considering ""natural"" childbirth? You wouldn't have a tooth pulled without painkillers, right? This is an 8lb tooth. From your crotch."
"What do you call a shitty igloo? An ""eh""gloo."