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Joke of the Day
"Hell is probably just thousands of tourists trying to take pictures of you walking a cat."
Next Joke
"1. Ask for something. 2. Throw it down. 3. Repeat steps 1 & 2. - Toddler To Do List"
"- grabs leash - grabs phone - takes dog out for walk - pulls out phone - checks Twitter - walks dog to South America"
"I exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. Jehovah's fitness."
"*runs in out of breath* Friend: what's going on? Me: [heavy breathing] bear with me Friend: Ok *waits* *bear runs in, also out of breath*"
"Now that HBO has a partnership with Sesame Street we'll finally learn how to spell the names of all the Game of Thrones characters."
"How do you keep an idiot busy for hours? [Click here to find out the answer.](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2b57xv/how_do_you_keep_an_idiot_busy_for_hours/)"
"Me: Hi. I can't take your call right now but please leave a message. CW: I'm standing right in front of yo... Me: BEEEEEEEEEEEEP"
"What is Donald Trump's favorite Christmas song? White Christmas."
"My husband and I are fighting. There's about a 50 50 chance he knows."