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Joke of the Day

"Photons don't even matter."

"Where does Obama keep his armies? In the Baracks."

"Who is currently leading in the Pirate Party Polls? Noone. Pirates don't have poles, they have masts."

"Probably the hardest part of being an adult is trying to come up with excuses to tell your friends about why you go to bed so early."

"Oh, no! I only have fish eggs for dinner again! Roe is me!"

"What's the easiest way to come out of the closet? 1. Open door 2. Walk out"

"Holy shit you guys. Twitter works outside too."

"What do you call a punch that can kill 20 kids and 6 adults? A Sandy Hook."

"A man walks into the library... ... And he asks the librarian if they have any books on suicide. The librarian replies ""You can sod of, you won't bring it back!"""

"So an Irish guy walks out of a bar (Pause for effect)"