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Joke of the Day

"Who is currently leading in the Pirate Party Polls? Noone. Pirates don't have poles, they have masts."

"Don't ""pshhh"" me, you stupid bus."

"*gets bitten *becomes shy shy"

"An Irishman Walks Out Of A Bar"

"What's the difference between a Canadian and an Italian? Where the ""eh"" is in the sentence. Canadian: ""How you doin, eh?"" Italian: ""Eh! How you doin?"""

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? (NSFW) You can't marmalade your dick into your girlfriends ass"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. But, I still can't figure out how they got in there."

"Why did Bill Clinton say NO to testosterone meds? He was afraid of ending up like Hillary."

"God: write this down Moses [grabs tablet]: shoot God: thou shalt have no- Moses: slow down, pal. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'"

"Calling ""shotgun"" is great way to lighten the mood when getting in the squad car after the cops arrest you."