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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a punch that can kill 20 kids and 6 adults? A Sandy Hook."
Next Joke
"6: Why are we at the vet? Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies? Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch"
"Me: ""Siri, why am I single?"" Siri: *opens front face camera*"
"When the police asked Bernie if he profited from stealing millions of dollars from his former clients he replied, ""What do you think i'm Madoff?"""
"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb 2, but don't ask me how they got in there."
"TIL: A second is called a second because it's not first."
"OBAMA REVEALS HES A KID STANDING ON A KIDS SHOULDERS. ROMNEY COUNTERS BY REVEALING HES 3 TINY KIDS. 20 BABIES TUMBLE OUT OF BIDENS CLOTHES"
"One i made up for my mexican friends. If a Rabbi blesses food it's kosher. What do you call enchilada sauce bkessed by a priest? A: HOLY MOLE' Thank you, I'll be in r/dadjokes all week!"
"double negatives what is the greatest double negative/oxymoron of all time? A happy Marriage"
"squirrel probs"