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Joke of the Day

"Holy shit you guys. Twitter works outside too."

"A deaf man and deaf lady go on a date..."

"I told my wife to go shopping for a pair of great tits. She thought I was talking about cosmetic surgery."

"You know the jack in a box that scared the life out of you when you were a child? That's me as an adult cooking with my smoke detector"

"Tonight I realized that I gaze at cheese in much the same way that first time mothers gaze at their newborns"

"My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus"

"How many Karma whores does it take to screw on a lightbulb? When this reaches 500 upvotes I'll tell you."

"World Cup Soccer? If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I'd go watch some of my single friends at the bar."

"What's the difference between a bug and an insect? Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot."

"What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common? They both have problems finding x."