190081

Joke of the Day

"Probably the hardest part of being an adult is trying to come up with excuses to tell your friends about why you go to bed so early."

"Ted Cruz announced he is running for president as a Republican. That surprised me; I thought he was running as a joke."

"Conjunctivitis.com That's a site for sore eyes"

"Breadmakers Always looking to prove something."

"Why does the Empire use Apple? Because they couldn't find the droid they were looking for"

"Where did Noah keep his bees? In the Ark Hives."

"Danke for calling Germany. To order beer, press 1. To order weapons, press 2. To order philosophy, press 1 until it resembles a 2."

"I think my girlfriend would make a good plumber She keeps bringing up old shit from weeks ago."

"What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming ? Here come the elephants"

"The best pickup line I have a weapon in my pants. It's so strong it could destroy Uranus."