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Joke of the Day

"What's the best way to fix a horse race? Evolution."

"Last night, I forgot about the Sun Then it dawned on me..."

"I've seen some bad thieves in my life before... But this one couldn't even take the cake!"

"I'm glad they outlawed texting while driving. I can finally get some use out of this calligraphy set."

"What's the closest synonym to a love boat? A relation-ship."

"If a woman ever charges you with a knife in the kitchen, remain calm and open the fridge. Take out mayonnaise, cheese, and ham. Natural instincts will kick in and she will make you a sandwich instead."

"I hate it... I hate it when people say something online and don't take credit for it. Pussies. Anonymous"

"How can you judge how good the orgasm was? From the amount of time it takes you to press Alt-F4 afterwards."

"So, if he gets divorced for the third time... Does Melania get to keep the White House?"

"Go deep throat a cactus."