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Joke of the Day

"I've seen some bad thieves in my life before... But this one couldn't even take the cake!"

"Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I'll take lookout."

"I hope 2016 doesn't get renewed. The plot is ridiculous and none of the characters are likable."

"Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus."

"Calling Sony comments""racially insensitive remarks"" instead of ""racist""? U can put a cherry on a pile of sh*t but it don't make it a sundae."

"How do you make a little girl cry even more? You wipe your bloody dick off on her teddy bear."

"How do crabs get out of hospitals? On crotches."

"How I get my dick to be 12 inches? I cut it in half"

"What do gay Russian partners call each other? Cumrade"

"Capitalization is important. NSFW Capitalization is the difference between ""I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse."" and ""I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."""