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Joke of the Day

"Why are wedding dresses white? So the dishwasher matches the stove."

"What does Popeye use to toss his salad? Olive Oil."

"Why did the guy have Ben Franklin tattooed on his dick? His girlfriend was great at blowing 100 bucks."

"Someone told me to go fuck myself /r/selffuck was a great place to start!"

"What do you get when you mix Michael Jordan with Donald Trump? A Dunkin' Donut."

"Selfies are just sad reminders that you have no friends willing to take pictures of your face and cleavage."

"So eBay takes 10% of your profits and Craig's List is 100% free, but with the chance of being murdered...such a dilemma"

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, cause they're to short to be an essay!!!"

"Why did Victoria lose her job? We don't know, it's Victoria's secret."

"I didn't see San Andreas because I heard there's not a scene where a therapist tells the seismologist, ""It's not your fault."""