146215

Joke of the Day

"""Honey, it's not that I don't like your cooking, it's just that the smoke's about to asphyxiat our family."" ""WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY ASS??"""

"Breasts are like beer... Men may state a preference, but we'll take whatever's on tap."

"The cat puked under my bed. Cleanup efforts only made it worse. It's time to renew our commitment to developing alternative sources of cute."

"I think tomorrow I'm going to respond to everyone using only lyrics from songs by The Dead Deads. Wish me some luck at the DMV."

"Police officer asks driver if he recognizes himself. Police officer asks man if he recognizes himself. Then the driver pulls out mirror and says ''yes it is me''"

"What do 16 year old boys and drug companies have in common? They are both more worried about getting inside you than being effective once there!"

"The date was going really well until he told me to stop calling it Pasghetti."

"Why is ""porn"" not a standard button on keyboards yet?"

"My wife and i got along so much better... When we were just brother and sister"

"Doctor Doctor I tend to flush a lot. Don't worry it's just a chain reaction!"