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Joke of the Day

"""Honey, it's not that I don't like your cooking, it's just that the smoke's about to asphyxiat our family."" ""WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY ASS??"""

"""But I can't conquer China, it's way too big..."" Now Genghis, what do I always say? *Sighs* ""I'm Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't"""

"What's the difference between humans and bullets? Humans miss Harambe"

"Why did the pedophile go into the cave? He was looking for miners."

"Baywatch Q: What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts? A: Silicon Valley."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change..."

"Why do black men make such good husbands? Because they're already used to being whipped."

"My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it... We went out and had drinks. Cool guy, he wants to be a web designer."

"I'd like to thank my student loans I don't think i can ever repay them for getting me through college"

"What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral? You might think it's II, but his true love be the C."