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Joke of the Day

"Police officer asks driver if he recognizes himself. Police officer asks man if he recognizes himself. Then the driver pulls out mirror and says ''yes it is me''"

"On this great new diet called ""sleep through breakfast."""

"Put yourself in my shoes for a minute... ...Now you're a mile away, and you have my shoes!"

"[taking a picture] Me: ""Make love to the camera!"" Grandma: ""Don't make this weird, dear."""

"What are condoms for? Condoms are for fucking pussies, and for assholes."

"Why are pirates angry after leaving the bathroom? Because after ""p"" comes ""irate"""

"Reddit is so dark right now..... That it went to night school and got counted absent."

"How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb? Who wants to know?"

"What do you get when you pour root beer into a square glass? Beer"

"What's the difference between a ladder and a truck? It's no bad luck to walk under a truck."