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Joke of the Day

"Police officer asks driver if he recognizes himself. Police officer asks man if he recognizes himself. Then the driver pulls out mirror and says ''yes it is me''"

"What's the worst place to be during a tornado? Cracker Barrel."

"Somebody just told me they were bad but they didn't say ""cha'mone"" afterward so haha cmon guy how bad can you be"

"The chicken crossed the road. Him: Why did the chicken cross the road ? Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it."

"5-year-old daughter: Barbie is mad at Ken. *pushes their faces together* Me: Did they kiss and make up? 5: No. She headbutted him."

"Im going to change my name on Facebook to ""Benefits"", so that when you add me it will say, ""You are now friends with benefits"""

"We took the animals for a walk and saw a sign: 'Dogging area, please control your animal and pick up their faces...'"

"Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage and a little bit of milk; they can keep a girl's stomach full for 9 months.."

"A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy walk into a bar Bartender looks up and says ""get the fuck out of here"""

"Teachers of the modern era who still expect hard copies of assignments can't bitch when I turn in a margarita-soaked paper."