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Joke of the Day

"The cat puked under my bed. Cleanup efforts only made it worse. It's time to renew our commitment to developing alternative sources of cute."

"If I was an operating system, your process would have top priority."

"Millennials make the best spys... They've got nothing to lose."

"For almost a year I thought I was a man trapped inside a woman's body Then I was born."

"What happened to the blind circumciser? He got the sack."

"I like playing with my dog when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober."

"the new ghostbusters r all womans?? seriuosoly. all womans?, this is the most unrealistic thing about the movie about peopel who bust ghosts"

"What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda? Civic doody."

"Tits are like Lego bricks... They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them."

"One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized."