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Joke of the Day

"My daughter may only be one year old today, but she retrieves beer from the fridge at a fourth grade level."

"Did you hear about the new restaraunt on the moon? It's got great food, just no atmosphere.."

"Knock-Knock Joke given to me by a Star Wars fan Knock Knock Who's There? Metaphors Metaphors who? Metaphors be with you"

"-Babe, I can't find the condom, what if we don't use it? -Sure, I'm ready to be a mother anyways. -No, no. Look, I found it!"

"What do you give a losing horse with lockjaw? A new jaw-key"

"Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad"

"My cow got Parkinson's Now she only produces milkshakes."

"Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No Bell Prize."

"I lost my favorite ash tray. Child Protective Services took him."