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Joke of the Day
"How to make Holy Water.. You boil the hell out of it."
Next Joke
"Lick the corner of your mouth. The corner. JUST the CORNER. God damn it Diane do you want to be America's Next Top Model or the Hamburglar"
"When I do laundry I tell people I'm going to 1943 Cause I got to separate the whites and colors"
"As a little girl, I dreamt of being whisked away by a handsome prince. It's my husband's dream now."
"A million dollar idea: Diapers for birds."
"Why did the serial killer become a chef? Because you can't make an omelette without killing a few chicks."
"My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay. I got full marx."
"Why do Eyeballs Make Great Comedians? Because they are filled with vitreous humor!"
"I asked two Uber drivers to pick each other up and am watching them chase each other in circles around my block until they run out of gas."
"[god creating an pigeon] what if i gave this piece of shit wings"