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Joke of the Day

"Daddy long legs are the NBA players of spiders."

"Not right now green light, I'm taking a selfie."

"I don't think Major Tom was much of an astronaut - Ground Control had to tell him to put his helmet on, FFS. That's pretty basic stuff."

"Why do squirrels have bushy tails? To keep their nuts warm."

"""'Earth' without 'the' is just 'ar'."" - Pirates If you haven't seen ""Earth without art is just eh"" then you prolly didn't like this tweet."

"How dare you accept my apology, I wasn't really apologizing, that was a trick to get you to say that nothing was my fault"

"Clinton is MY president! His second term is about to end but I truly loved his presidency -Sent from internet explorer"

"Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth? And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?"

"What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip. No offense intended(to get the racial shit stated before I get hit with it)"

"Warning: Joke contains racism Racism"