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Joke of the Day

"Clinton is MY president! His second term is about to end but I truly loved his presidency -Sent from internet explorer"

"People say you can't live without love... i think oxygen is more important"

"Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow? Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!"

"Tweeting with an egg avatar is like showing up to a job interview in a sweatsuit."

"A man asks the waiter: ""Why do you have your thumb on my steak?"" ""So I don't drop it again, Sir."""

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean. :D edit: funnier when said aloud"

"It's weird to think there was a time when the most data a tablet could hold was five commandments."

"OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog."

"Why did the cookie get fired from his job? He came to work baked."

"A rule for myself that's worked my entire life: when you hear the garage door open, put your penis away."