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Joke of the Day

"*walks into door on street, looks around* Whew...no one saw me... One year later... *watching TV* *sees self on Funniest Videos*"

"Make sure you get your ham early for Christmas... Because thanks to Putin there will be no Turkey left."

"Why do Jewish guys get circumcised? Because Jewish women love anything 10 percent off."

"""These diet pills better work,"" I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake."

"I'm gong to start calling my dick ""The Cartridge"". Women keep wanting to blow it."

"Put the spoiled milk back in the fridge and hope it gets better. - What I think when I hear someone is getting back together with an ex."

"Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the menu sir? Monster: No thanks just bring me the passenger list."

"Learn from your parents mistakes... Use birth control"

"I'm pretty sure the phrase ""sleep tight"" originated in prison"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Usain bolt? Usain bolt can finish a race."