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Joke of the Day

"Learn from your parents mistakes... Use birth control"

"I tried to download Ford Racing 2 today... It crashed."

"Went to see my doctor and he told i was going to have to stop masturbating I asked why and he said ""Because im trying to examine you!"""

"[neil degrasse tyson voice] the film is called Home Alone but thats actually a misnomer. in fact, kevin was joined in his home by 2 burglars"

"Why do they have fences around a cemetery? Because people are dying to get in."

"There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, ""It sure is hot in here"". The other muffin says, ""Yeah like 350, 375""."

"Satan is so gay!"

"Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks."

"I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said ""You're pulling my leg"""

"Knock knock.... Who's there?.... Whale.... Whale who? Whale that's enough of that joke"