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Joke of the Day

"I've never panned for gold... But I have put bacon bits in my salad."

"Why don't men like going Downtown with women? Because eating-out can be so expensive."

"I told my dog 6,000 times, she could go out but I wasn't going to sit outside with her... Long story short, I'm sitting outside with her."

"What do you call a criminal with an STD? A herpetrator."

"*Cop Dog radios in* We've got an armed robbery in progress ""What's that boy?"" An armed robbery on 5th ""Timmy's stuck in a well??"""

"[taking my final breaths after a freak accident] Tell my family I totes love them *gasping for air* but like, roll your eyes real hard"

"What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get a frostbite."

"The minute I even contemplate wearing a white shirt, 11 jars of salsa fall from the sky and spill on it and then it catches on fire"

"What's the most terrifying gift your SO/Family can buy for you? Reddit gold."

"Why did the cowboy get a hot seat? Because he rode the range."