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Joke of the Day

"I told my dog 6,000 times, she could go out but I wasn't going to sit outside with her... Long story short, I'm sitting outside with her."

"What type of cheese can you see in a mirror? Halloumi! (Hello me)"

"A woman is good for 70 things. Cooking and 69."

"Donald Trump has begun work building a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. It's called the wetback setback."

"How many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hella"

"My neighbors listen to good music. Whether they want to or not!"

"What color are Margaery's eyes ? Blue. One blew this way, the other one blew that way!"

"How do rabbits fly? In hareplanes."

"People say I am condescending. THAT MEANS I TALK DOWN TO PEOPLE."

"What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes? What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch? Matt."