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Joke of the Day
"Why did Jesus quit playing hockey? Because he kept getting nailed to the boards"
Next Joke
"Genie: I'll give you more wishes, I feel bad for you Me: [with 3 ice cream cones on the ground] That's very nice of you"
"I heard about a new drug that is super addictive and leaves one in a state of sustained indifference. Parents, talk to your children about Crystal Meh."
"[first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally."
"What do you call post-modern Persians? PomIranians"
"What's the difference between an orange and Donald Trump Oranges have thick skin"
"Your mother is so ugly, that if she were the only girl in Texas... ...the Lone Ranger would be lonely for a loooooooooooooooong time"
"They don't make forks like they used to. Modern plastic ware makes me miss the good old tines."
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
"A man walks into a bar... And slowly alcoholism tears apart his family"