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Joke of the Day

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired? He became an ex-terminator!"

"A guy was stealing Morton and Everstart. He punched the owner when confronted... He was charged with assault and battery."

"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills."

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same."

"Two surgeons are laughing during an operation when a dermatologist walks by... ""What's so funny?"" asks the dermatologist. ""Sorry, it's a inside joke."" replies the surgeon."

"What is the difference between pick and choose? To pick is to make a selection... And choose are what Cubans wear on their feet."

"I'm a Vegan Rasta... If I cannot smoke it, then I cannot eat it."

"I like to think that T.J. Maxx is what happens when Office Max takes off his tie and slips on a pair of shades."

"Lets give each other cute nicknames like, 'Plaintiff' and 'Defendant'"

"How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? One. One to change it and his girlfriend to give him a blowjob when he's done."