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Joke of the Day

"If I had to guess at the religion of Daniel Day Lewis... I would probably have to say Methodist &nbsp; [What are the rules of Daniel Day Lewis?!](http://imgur.com/gallery/NDOov4L)"

"I've been sober as far back as I can remember. Which is roughly 11 hours."

"Melania Trump says her husband is ""not Hitler."" That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands."

"A Mormon says to his Motel receptionist, 'The porn in my room better be disabled!' The receptionist replies 'No it's just regular porn you sick bastard'."

"What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest? A dookie"

"Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? It was rated R."

"Ice lollies Are like regular drinks for really patient people."

"A new study of dolphins was recently performed... The study showed that within a few weeks in captivity, they were able to teach humans to stand at the edge of their pool and throw fish at them."

"I used to hate flying. I thought the plane would go down. But now I just bring my wife with me on the plane because my wife never goes down."

"What does a perverted frog say? Rubbit"