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Joke of the Day

"I almost drowned trying to swim today. The security guard didn't even care he just told me to get the hell out of the mall fountain."

"Why did the stoner put laxatives in the pot brownies? For shits and giggles."

"Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in? The plumber said ""Would you like a plug for it?"" The idiot replied ""Oh I didn't know it was electric."""

"Just dropped my new single it's me i'm single"

"Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice."

"What do you call a bug that can't talk? A hoarse fly."

"What do being in the mafia and cunnilingus have in common... One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit!"

"Going to Arizona in 2 weeks. Better bring my passport in case I accidentally get a tan."

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dre"

"How does the redneck's wife know that her daughter is pregnant? her son's dick tastes like shit."