200410

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bug that can't talk? A hoarse fly."

"I used to give my co-workers nicknames based on their most dominant features, like 'Loves Abortions Brenda' or 'Intern Groper Rob'."

"When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant"

"I am so perfect... ... I only have four flaws. 1) I lack humility. b) I'm inconsistent. Finally, I can't count."

"Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors it would be chicken sedans."

"Dove: ..then he called me a fat pigeon! [sobs] Prince: ""There there, cry it out"" [starts recording] Um, you are a therapist, right? ""Sure"""

"How do Japanese people refer to American politicians? Parti-san"

"The only difference between the people I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him."

"What did the black hole say to the pulsar? I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation"

"In Russia, you don't vote for Putin... Putin votes FOR you."