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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with four captains? She came back with a Red Snapper."
Next Joke
"Aaanndd I've just been peed on. Were I Tila Tequila I'd have met 1 of my New Years resolutions before the clock had even struck midnight"
"Why do women fake orgasms? Because men fake foreplay."
"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? No seatbelt."
"Pay me a complement. Wife: I look like a fat, ugly, wrinkly, pig, be a dear and pay me a complement Husband: Your eyesight's damn near perfect. Edit:Format"
"What do you call an Egyptian surprise attack? A Tut offensive."
"Why was the lizard's wife unsatisfied? Her hubby had a reptile dysfunction."
"If I ever go missing, just follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide!"
"What's the difference between feminists and guns? Guns only have one trigger. At the time I was writing this, my mom and sister were in the middle of a death battle yelling match, help."
"At this point, I'm positive I've read the entire Bible via Facebook status updates. *crosses off bucket list*"