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Joke of the Day
"There are 10 kind of people in this world Those who understand binary and those who don't"
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"You know what's fun to do in Ohio? ... Pack up and get the fuck out."
"A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street... An they see a young boy. The priests says, ""you want to screw him?"" The rabbi says, ""out of what?"""
"A car is just a very small room with wheels"
"Knock knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave breaking down into an emotional wreck and mess of tears at the realisation that the Alzheimer's has finally taken hold."
"Doctor: you gotta cut back on the drinking Me: but why? D:*lifts up x-ray* says here your liver has officially been sponsored by Grey Goose"
"One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever."
"I challenge someone to say something including the word ""Trump"" or ""Hilary"" without sounding biased in any way. Hang on... Did I just..."
"just witnessed a salmon shitting out its ovaries. it winked at me and said 'that's how i roe.'"
"What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison to go to Death Valley to shoot up? A high low small medium at large."