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Joke of the Day

"*Me getting pulled over* Me:license and registration please? Guy police officer :I pulled u over.. Me:do u really want to argue with me?"

"What is a hipster's favorite element? Fe, because it's so ironic"

"Everyone has to pay for their mistakes... except for banks. Banks are apparently exempt from a lot of shit."

"Teacher: Johnny, use the words 'defeat"", ""deduct"" and ""detail"" in a sentence. Johnny: Yes ma'am. ""Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail."""

"We gave our children old-fashioned names... Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley"

"Boss: you spend a lot of time on your phone! Me: you spend too much time watching me. Don't you have work to do?"

"I used to have a morbid fear of German sausage..... Its been hard, Ive been through therapy but now I think I'm over the wurst."

"What's brown and sticky? Muhammed Ali opening a can of coke"

"All Women want is a Guy that makes them laugh- And from what I can tell, Rich guys are fucking hilarious"

"""Wow, you're tall.. Do you play basketball?"" ""Wow, you're short. Do you play mini golf?"""