145270

Joke of the Day

"He is known as a miracle comic. If he's funny, it's a miracle!"

"""Hi, I'm here for Paradox Club."" Actually this is Oxymoron Club. ""Ok, same difference."" *looks at group* Oh, this guy is good."

"How do you piss off a female archaeologist? Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from."

"What do you call a feminist that raps about women's rights? Feminem"

"I'm making a party for people who can't ejaculate... Let me know if you are coming or not."

"My grandfather died in Auschwitz... He died after falling from the guard tower"

"How did Harry Potter get to the bottom of the hill. Walking Jk Rowling."

"Those people that get up and are already home from the gym by 7 a.m. make me believe the movie Men in Black just may be true after all."

"Who burns their own city down? The people of Ferguson."

"A penis has a sad life: His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, & his owner beats him."