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Joke of the Day

"Does ""You'll find love when you're not looking for it"" apply to money too? Because let me be clear I am NOT looking for $10 million dollars."

"Data Today, a CS professor asked us what data is. Apparently, even though technically correct, the plural form of datum was not the answer he had in mind..."

"You like parachuting? That's messed up... you like the Paris Shooting!?"

"Apologies to General Tso for what I'm about to do to his chicken."

"Q. What do Fred Flintstone and Osama Bin Laden have in common? A. They both look out their caves and see rubble."

"When my kids get too loud in our minivan I simply race over the nearest speedbump to make them bite their tongues."

"a cool magic trick woud be if a magiciam puts their hand in a hat & sombody wearin a hat in the audience sudenly feels a hand on their head"

"Patrick and Bruce Patrick Bateman and Bruce Wayne are having a business lunch together. Suddenly, Bruce senses something is wrong, and looks at his watch. ""Sorry to be so rude, but I've got to Bale""."

"5-year-old: *hits her sister* Me: Keep your hands to yourself. 5: Me: 5: *kicks* Me: And your feet. 5: Me: 5: *headbutts*"

"Is it I 'ran' through the campground? Or...I 'run' through the campground? Oh right, I ran, because its past tents."