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Joke of the Day

"Watching these people in this commercial, rock climb, scuba dive & live life to the fullest, makes me wish I had genital herpes."

"My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word. What's that? Ouch!"

"Some guy died at the gym... They had to deadlift him out."

"Haters gonna hate, thermometers gonna thermom"

"Just got a Hyundai Accent and now I sound like a Korean guy."

"What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ? Jail-birds !"

"I have a crowbar in my garage. Worst customers, they shit everywhere."

"If you've ever written an uppercase ""L"", you've drawn 1/4 of a swastika. Way to go, racist!"

"My nan's star sign is cancer. It's pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten by a giant crab."