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Joke of the Day

"Why did the big pig want to go on stage? There was a lot of ham in him."

"When I lay down to go to sleep, I watch Hillary Clinton rallies It is much more convenient than counting sheep individually."

"A Jewish joke (as told by Sigmund Freud) One Jew says to another, ""Have you taken a bath?"" The other replies: ""No. Is one missing?"" From *Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious*"

"What's Chris Martin's favorite drink? Apple Martini"

"Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ? The girl necks door."

"I tripped over a bra today I think it was booby trapped"

"I mainly get my exercise by awkwardly running to doors when people hold them open for me"

"i imagine my dog spends a lot of time thinking about how tall i am and how great it is to have a giant as a best friend who can reach treats"

"How can you tell it's a porno actor filling up his car at the next pump? Just before he gets to twenty bucks he pulls out the nozzle and shoots it all over the trunk."

"Little known fact: Arizona's state flower is pavement."