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Joke of the Day

"Henry David Thoreau walks into a bar. The bartender says: We don't serve your kind here! Thoreau replies: Walden. I'll see myself out."

"Two wires at sea Two wires were on an ocean cruise when the ship sprung a leak and sank. The solid core wire managed to climb into a lifeboat and head to safety. The other was stranded."

"Intentionally or not, gays are the only people fighting overpopulation and it's time for everyone else to join the fight. But first..."

"No toilet paper. My training kicks in. I barrel roll under the stall & onto the lap of the person in the next stall. I did not plan for this"

"My girlfriend reminds me of Chernobyl... There's nuclear fallout when she over-reacts!"

"If my liver was a person, it'd be Doris, the 50 year old waitress pouring coffee at the truckstop for 35 years & smoking since she was born."

"TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first."

"Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: So who wants to know? Why do *you* want to know? Are you a cop?"

"Do you know anything about tapes and cd's? Do you think if i taped my dick to my forehead you could cd's nuts?"

"What do you call it when you shit yourself during the first meal of the day? An Incontinent-al Breakfast"