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Joke of the Day

"If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they've been drinking in order to establish dominance."

"What's Hitler's favorite part of a golf course? The bunker"

"if someone wakes up from a twenty year coma, i hope the first thing they see when they turn on a TV is mike tyson petting his pigeons."

"Every time Mila Kunis comes on my TV I do too"

"Who is ""back at it again with the white vans?"" pedophiles."

"Me, as a judge: OK we'll take a quick recess now. *lawyers start discussing lawyer things* *I go outside and swing on the swingset*"

"Why doesn't a skeleton fall in love with a human. maybe it's Because the skeleton doesn't have a heart."

"What do you call a high retarded person? A baked potato"

"I'm in a band named 999 megabytes We still haven't got a gig yet"

"Classic. Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Big hands."