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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a jerk in the space program? Nasshole."

"How do you wake up a loafer? With a shoe horn."

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his butt!"

"Why did the programmer die in the shower? He followed the shampoo instructions."

"Your mum's so fat she uses Yosemite National Park as a back-scratcher, the Eiffel Tower as an ear pick and water slides as straws."

"Just noticed that the use by date on my crumpets was April 1st I was sure that someone was playing a joke on me."

"What did the cheese say to itself in the in the mirror? halloumi"

"Two and a half men would be way funnier with an all black cast But then it would have to be called one and 3/5ths men"

"Jokes are all about delivery But I'm more of a DiGiorno guy"

"""You wanna play the rape game?"" ""-No!"" ""-That's the spirit."""