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Joke of the Day

"Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's."

"*12 pulls a gray hair out of my head* M: Wow, look at that! 12: Hang on. There's A LOT more! M: 12: Can I get paid for pulling these out?"

"What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope"

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? When this gets 500 upvotes, I'll tell you the answer."

"Doctor doctor people keep telling me I'm ugly! Lay on the couch face down."

"Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it. He said ""Ohio is a spectacular place."""

"TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation. In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!"

"Ear sex is dangerous... ...it fucks with your head"

"What do you call a person who makes surrealist sandwiches? Salvador Deli."

"What did the little boy say upon putting the finishing piece on his Snow man ""For the watch"""