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Joke of the Day

"I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 5 billion dollaers???"

"When Oasis broke up, my girlfriend was so upset. I told her to stop crying her heart out."

"*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*"

"That awkward moment when someone isn't texting you back and then you see them update their status from mobile."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Friend 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Friend 2: To get to the idiot's house. Friend 1: Knock knock Friend 2: Who's there? Friend 1: The chicken"

"Typical coworkers. They complain about management, but when it's time to dispose of the boss's body, they all pretend to be working."

"A farmer was in a field with his cows, he counted 196 of them.... ..... but when he rounded them up he had 200."

"Kanye West always looks like someone just told him a movie spoiler."

"4: ""Mom, I'm gonna be just like you when I grow up and say bad words and eat French fries two at a time."""

"Pun contest One day a man saw that there was a local paper puns contest. So he decided to write his 10 best puns and enter them into the contest in hope of winning. Unfortunately no pun in 10 did."