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Joke of the Day

"Your Lawyer and your Wife are drowning! Quick! You must make a decision!! Should you go to the movies, or order pizza?"

"My girlfriend is half my size but takes up three quarters of the bed. If my math is correct, she's a bitch"

"I like my women like I like my bikes. Chained up and locked down in my garage."

"A tapdancer walks into a room and looks at the floor. ""I'd tap that."""

"Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds."

"What's a pervert's favorite train stop? Molestation"

"OK, so you caught me bangin' the peanut butter jar... Don't make it weird..."

"I think LGBT sounds too much like a sandwich."

"Why was the math teacher late for school? He took the rhombus"

"why do queens play poker in the bathroom? so they'll always get a royal flush"