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Joke of the Day

"I used to hate math, But then I realized, decimals had a point."

"What's black and never works? Decaf coffee."

"[After Big Jewel Heist] ""We did it! We got away! Everything went to plan"" ME(holding my grappling hook I didn't get to use): Yea it was ok"

"What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one? Urine charge now."

"I don't know anything about golf... ...but I just watched it on TV for a couple minutes. It looks really easy. I'm sure I could get a very high score."

"Did you hear about the electrician who bought a Camaro using money he got from scrap wire? He really crimped and saved"

"[first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?"

"Whats the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth!"

"What did the pool cleaner say to the impatient swimmer? Whoa, whoa, whoa... Wade just a minute."

"Where do Peek-a-boo patients go? The ICU."