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Joke of the Day

"Where do porn actresses wait for their turn in a baseball themed orgy? The on-dick circle of course."

"My main move is to say ""long story short,"" but then hit you with long story medium."

"ABC's hit new show ""Dancing With Some Cars"" cancelled after two episodes, 43 deaths and 70 injuries"

"Once while eating bacon I said I was ""getting piggy with it"" and now I have no friends."

"I'm in favor of spanking children. Their parents are not."

"Thanksgiving with the snail family I had the snail family from next door over for a big Thanksgiving dinner, they are still feeling sluggish this morning."

"On the bright side, I'm relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists."

"What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together? it's must-up ..*rubs brow*"

"My GF was annoyed with me and asked me to stop singing Wonderwall Then I said Maybe"

"Two player prison game Prisoner One: Do you want to play the rape game? Prisoner Two: No! Prisoner One: That's the spirit!"