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Joke of the Day

"Once while eating bacon I said I was ""getting piggy with it"" and now I have no friends."

"Why was the dolphin keeper depressed? Because he had no porpoise."

"[white house staff meeting] Obama: Any questions? *Biden raises hand* Obama: Spongebob is yellow Joe. *Biden returns to coloring book*"

"Did you hear about the guy with five penises? His condom fit like a glove."

"You text him, he doesn't text you back. Obviously he was so excited that you texted that he fainted."

"How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear. "

"Why do women put on makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and smell bad..."

"I wanted to make sure my kids were safe when they are playing outside.... So I put an ISIS flag in my window. Now my neighbors watch them 24/7."

"He used to be Hand Solo Then he gave Leia the D."

"I saw a church's sign say ""God is my Facebook."" Does that mean two men can poke each other on God?"