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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why God invented yeast infections? So women could know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too."

"What do you call a gay couch? A homo-sectional."

"Probably should not have driven home from the bar last night.. especially considering I walked there."

"I was told I needed to do some soul searching... so I Googled James Brown."

"A son walks up to his dad and tells him: ""Dad, did you know in other countries you don't know who your wife is until you get married?"" His dad replies: ""It's like that everywhere son."""

"If you want to hear an elderly couple arguing for 2 hrs about whether they closed their garage door, go to a movie at 11AM on a weekday."

"What was the atmosphere like in the silent wooden part of a hospital? It was an oakward experience."

"Told my girlfriend to watch out! It might smell in the bathroom... She asked if I had used the air freshener. ""yeah, I did"" ""Oh so it smells like shitrus."" man she's funny."

"Why can't New Zealanders tell you how many sexual partners they've had? Every time they start to count, they fall asleep."

"Some days it's little things, the tone of his voice or his words when we're alone, that help me realize I'd rather have the insurance money."