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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris strikes again Chuck Norris has counted the number of atoms in the universe... **thrice**"

"What do you do when you see and Mexican on a bike? Shoot him he probably stole that bike. What do you do when you see a black man on a bike? Shoot the bike, that's your nigger."

"My birthday is the 26th, the day of the first Presidential Debate. I do love comedy on my birthday!"

"My girlfriend is like /r/Jokes She tries to tell me that she hasn't cheated on me, but I've already heard that one."

"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants."

"I carry a rolled up yoga mat so people think I'm fit but really it's just a great way to hold 2 footlong meatball subs."

"I saw a kid getting bullied by 4 people, so I decided to help out. He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us."

"Why is Italy shaped like a boot? Cuz there's no way that amount of shit can fit into a normal shoe"

"A man walks into a bar... The bartender says, 'I am fucking done with all these jokes!'."

"i have a heavy flow maxi pad in my wallet so it looks like i have lots of money"