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Joke of the Day

"I fear all this talk of llamas & dresses has distracted us from the important fact that there is video of Madonna falling off a stage."

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"What is a proletariat cannibal's favorite food? A double cheese bourger."
"A friend asked me, ""Did you know Isaac Newton died a virgin""? I replied, ""What colour?"""
"What's is the difference between a Lamborghini and a boner? I don't have a boner right now. -Hugh Hefner, probably"
"SORRY I GOT IN THE VAN AND ATE ALL OF THE CANDY AND NOW YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ME."
"Her phone display is brighter than her future."
"The Pope walks into a synagogue the Rabbi asks, ""Why the wrong faith?"""
"What did the left pussy lip say to the right pussy lip? Girl, we used to be so tight until we let some dick come between us."
"What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison"
"Just bought the extended version of The Hobbit. Bilbo is 7' 6"" now."